Saturday, February 28, 2015

The voices of my heart....

IT JUST ME THAT WANNA TRY TO FIX EVERYTHING BACK....!
Cause I always love you more than you do.



Dear you,

Did u ever think about my feelings?
Even when you are busy,did you ever spend little of your time to ask me,"how are you today? " ?
Did you ever do that to me?
The answer is no...
You say you are busy...busy with your work..
yes I know that....but did u ever show that u cared bout me? did you ever tried to prove all your love towards me ? 
when you feel stress with your work,sometimes I feel you suddenly wanna to scold me,when I ask you about anything .
When u sleep without saying goodnight to me,did you ever feel wanna to say sorry to me on the next morning without I mention that...? did u ever think that I have to wait all day just to talk for a few minute with you at night? Did u ever think bout me? I keep quite,yes....I will keep quite...because of what...I keep quite bout all my feeling for all this while...it all just because I don't want to burden you with all my problem,my feeling,my silly thought....cause I don't wanna to be selfish,to burden u with all my problems,
and cause I know you have a lot of thing to think about rather than thinking bout me.

yes,because I love you...did you ever know ? I love you so much ! 
....till sometimes I hide all my feeling from you even I know if I keep hiding it, it will hurt me more .
Never mind,cause what important to me is you. Just u.

But I'm really sorry,today,tonight....I cant keep all this only to myself anymore,I had to express it ,or else I might become crazy n I may not be able to see the world anymore...I'm sorry too because I,I cant stop my tears from streaming down on my cheek :'(
You know,I had try....tried to be strong...but I keep failing to do so.
I had tried not to think so much bout all my feeling and thought,but I just cant! cause I'M NOT STRONG ANYMORE. I'm such a weak girl . I'm just a girl with a fragile heart that loves you more than I love myself .
I know I'm not a perfect girl for you,but I always try my best to be that for you.I had tried my best to understand you,but I keep failing to do so. I'm really sorry for everything.

If on one day in future, u suddenly leaving me,saying that you don't love me anymore,I will try to understand that....even its gonna be really hard and hurt for me. As long as you are happy, I will try to accept it.
If that really happen in my life, I won't put all the blame on you,cause I know its all was my fault from the start .
Don't worry,I already forgive you.
and I will always forgive u.

No matter what will happen to us after this,I woud like to say thank you for everything,thank you for the smile that I already carve because of you...
thank you....thank you and thank you for all the happiness,for all the memories of us.
If u ever ask me,whether am I still love you after all this while,
my answer will always "yes,I do love you " .
I always will love you and will always care bout you.
If u ask me,whether I still need you in my life or not...
my answer will always "yes ,I need you always " ,
and if can I don't wanna to live without you.
Take care.

Till then,
sincerely  from,
NaaNady .

- 9.48 pm ,
28 February 2015 -




Friday, February 6, 2015

.......................

I'M NOT STRONG!!!
I'M WEAK!
YES,TOO WEAK!
ALL PEOPLE THAT SAY THEY WON'T LEAVE ME ,LEFT!
ALL PEOPLE THAT I LOVE, ALREADY LEFT ME ALONE,
I'M DROWNING ALONE IN 
MY THOUGHT ,
THEY LEFT ME DROWNING ALONE,
THEY LEAVE ME BREATHLESS :(
NOBODY CARES BOUT ME,
ALL MY FEELINGS,
MY SADNESS,
MY LONELINESS,
NOBODY UNDERSTAND ME! NO ONE!
I HAVE TOTALLY LOST MY SMILE,
I DON'T KNOW HOW TO SMILE ANYMORE,
I DON'T KNOW WHAT IT FEELS TO BE HAPPY ANYMORE.....
MY SMILE ,MY HAPPINESS ARE TOTALLY GONE,ALL GONE!!
NOTHING ENCOURAGE ME TO CONTINUE MY LIVING....I'M FEELING ALL ALONE.
I HATE MYSELF.
NOW I ONLY KNOW HOW TO FAKE A SMILE,
IT'S HURT INSIDE,NOBODY COULD UNDERSTAND WHAT I AM GOING THROUGH RIGHT NOW :'(
NVM...CAUSE MAYBE I WAS BORN TO NOT BE UNDERSTOOD BY ANYBODY...
NOW IT JUST LEFT ME N MY BROKEN HEART</3 :'(
My life totally meaningless :(
cause I'm such a useless person!


nobody willing to understand me :'(

all went wrong! No hope for me anymore :(
byeeee